Know your sexual intentions and limits and communicate them clearly.
You have the right to say “no” to any unwanted sexual contact. If you say “no,” say it like you mean it. Back up your words with your body language. If you are uncertain about what you want, ask your partner to respect your feelings. Be careful to not give mixed messages.
Remember that your partner cannot read your mind.
Be verbal and say what you are feeling. Tell the person you are with how far you want to go, what you want and don’t want to do, and when you want to stop.
Remember that some people think that drinking heavily, wearing certain clothing, or agreeing to be alone with them indicates a willingness to have sex.
Be especially careful to communicate your limits and intentions clearly in such situations.
Trust your “gut” feelings.
If you start to feel uncomfortable or unsafe in a situation, listen to your feelings and act on them. Get yourself out of the situation as soon as possible. Call for help.
Ask for help or “make a scene” if you feel threatened.
If you are being pressured or forced into sexual activity against your will, let the other person know how you feel and get out of the situation, even if it’s awkward and even if you embarrass the other person or hurt his/her feelings.
Be especially careful in situations involving the use of drugs or alcohol.
Drugs and alcohol can make you less aware of danger signs and less able to communicate clearly. Be especially aware when you are in a new situation or with people that you don’t know well. You need to be able to make good decisions to protect yourself from sexual assault.
“Get involved” if someone else might be in trouble.
If you see someone who could be about to commit rape or become a victim, help the person who may get hurt. Become an engaged bystander and stop the rape from occurring.
Go to parties or clubs with friends you can trust and agree to “look out” for one another.
At parties where there is drinking or drugs, appoint a “designated sober person,” one friend who won’t drink or partake of drugs and who will look out for the others in the group by regularly checking on them. Leave parties with people you know. Leaving alone or with someone you don’t know very well can lead to rape.
Listen carefully to the person you are with in sexual situations.
If your partner says “no” to sexual contact, or their body language tells you they are unsure or unwilling, stop. If your partner was willing at first, but now doesn’t want to go any further, stop. If you think you are getting a “mixed message,” or you are not sure what your partner wants, don’t use threats or force. Stop.
Ask your partner what she or he wants.
Don’t assume you know what another person wants. For example, don’t automatically assume that just because a person gets drunk or agrees to be alone with you, they want to have sex. Don’t assume that just because someone has had sex with you before, she or he is willing to have sex with you again. And don’t assume that when a partner consents to kissing or other sexual touching, she or he is willing to have sexual intercourse.
Safety Tips:
TRUST YOUR INSTINCTS- If you feel unsafe, go with your gut. Don’t worry about what others think; safety comes first.
USE YOUR CELL PHONE- Make sure it’s charged before you leave home and coordinate with a friend if you need to text him or her for a “friend-assist.” Also, make a plan in case your phone dies, so you can meet up with your friends at a familiar location at a certain time.
TRUST YOUR INSTINCTS- If you feel unsafe, go with your gut. Don’t worry about what others think; safety comes first.
WAIT FOR PEOPLE TO EARN YOUR TRUST- Don’t assume people you don’t know well will look out for your best interests.
DON’T BE AFRAID TO HURT SOMEONE’S FEELINGS- If you find yourself in an unsafe situation, it’s okay to lie. It’s better to make up a reason to leave than to stay in a possibly dangerous situation.
IF YOU SEE SOMETHING, SAY SOMETHING!- Intervene if you see a situation that seems risky to someone’s safety. By stepping up, you can possibly prevent a crime. Also, don’t be afraid to call Pace University Safety and Security. Reporting something to the Office of Safety and Security does not mean you have to file a police report.
BE RESPONSIBLE AND KNOW YOUR LIMITS- If you’ve decided to drink, don’t accept drinks from people who you don’t know or trust. Don’t leave a drink unattended. If you have left your drink alone, get a new one. Always watch your drink being prepared. At parties, stick to drinks you got or prepared yourself instead of common open containers like punch bowls.
STICK WITH YOUR FRIENDS- Arrive at events together, check in with one another throughout, and leave together. Think twice about going off alone and if, for whatever reason, you have to separate from your friends, let them know where you are going and who you are with.
BE AWARE OF YOUR SURROUNDINGS- Whether you’re walking home from the library or at a party, be mindful of potential risks. Get to know the campus and neighborhood and learn well-lit walking or driving routes. Think of a safe exit strategy.
